A Birds Eye View

 

I often wonder about my place in The Kingdom of Yahuah.  Sometimes, it's a season of time that I dwell on the subject. I can be very hard on myself.  What have I accomplished? Have I made a difference? Even for one person. Have my flaws out shined my positives? I wish I could run into so-n-so that I could apologize for my really bad behavior way back in the day. My mind can run on and on. 

There are so many people who have come in and out of my life. Some for a short time, some for a while. And I wish I could say I  have no regrets, but I can't.  Really at the end of it all, being a positive for whomever crosses my path, a light, a sign pointing to Yahusha, is my goal. But it wasn't always so.  And it's during those moments where "it wasn't always so" that I have sorrow and remorse.  How I long to see Michaela again, so I can ask her forgiveness.  I want to speak with Lisa, and apologize for not doing more to help her. But I can't find them. If you're reading this and I  wronged you,  please give me a chance to seek your forgiveness.  

Once in a while Yah allows someone from the past to find me. And so far, when someone finds me, it's been to express that I left a good and helpful deposit in their life. What a beautiful gift. I rejoice in it. I'm so thankful.  And I was surprised.  Yes, I didn't think they were listening,  or watching,  but they were.  Seems like it takes a birds eye view of one's life to see where you made a difference.  

For years I was just trying to hang on, when I look back I see no "work for the Kingdom". Then Yah showed me I was developing a strong foundational faith. I may have been barely hanging on, but He had a firm grip on me. Where I see I failed my children,  Yah has brought them up to be wonderful people,  strong competent men. In spite of or because of, I may never know,  but Yah blessed them.

One day we will all get that birds eye view of how our lives, words, and deeds affected others, for good or bad. All of us will have some regretful moments. All Glory to Yah that can even use our shameful unChristlike past to further His Kingdom.

One day you will be a memory,  be a good one.

Still a work in progress 

Teresa