Biblical Courtship

 

Several years ago, when my boys were growing up, I homeschooled them. As they grew into preteens we began to study courtship. I wanted to provide my boys with the knowledge of Yah's standard in the matters of marriage. I knew so very little when I was young and single, I could have used some help navigating relationships and commitment.  

***Disclaimer **** neither of my sons actually participated in Biblical Courtship,  but the wisdom and guidance they got from these lessons years ago definitely contribute to the successful marriages they now have. Not to mention the problems they could have avoided if they had only adhered to those lessons. 

Courtship is not like dating. Dating is like spouse shopping, but not everyone shopping are serious shoppers. Some just want to do a lot of sampling. And let's be honest,  that's what the western cultures have brought us to. Our society doesn't encourage commitment, family,  and faith. It promotes self. In Biblical Courtship young people meet each other through family social relationships, mainly "church" or like minded faith groups. Once a young man and young lady realize they are interested in one another, or perhaps just the young man has noticed a Righteous girl, the next step is to see if they are compatible.  The young man goes to his father (or Spiritual leader if dad isn't in the picture).  If his father approves, they both go to her father. If he agrees, her father goes to her. If she agrees, then step 2. 

Step 2, as a family, mom and dad most likely have taught their children what the standards are. So the fathers can meet and come to terms: expectations,  rules, boundaries,  and such for courtship.  This should be in writing,  then agreed upon by both fathers and the girl and young man. A duration of time should be set to reassess the relationship,  then go to the next level of commitment or end it cordially.  

During this first segment of time, and written in the agreement,  the couple will meet periodically,  speak on the phone occasionally,  but mostly write letters to each other.  When they meet, they are always chaperoned (No hand holding, no hugs, no kisses. This isn't your wife, she belongs to her father till he gives her in marriage) preferably in a family social setting. Phone calls are never in private. The level of supervision over written correspondence would depend on the family. But some supervision is recommended.

Step 3, next level commitment, is like engagement. The goal is to be married at the end of this time period. How long this is will depend on what is agreed upon by all. Some couples want this time shortened because they know they are all in and are falling in love. Reassess the restrictions, usually a little more freedom and privacy is allowed. BUT ABSOLUTE RESPECT AND PURITY IS PARAMOUNT. 

Step 4. Wedding.

The important thing is to vet the prospect and prospective family. Know who you're joining. Be clear about expectations and boundaries. Communicate, communicate, communicate. Yah's standards for marriage, and relationships in general, should be sought out and applied. If you are choosing someone from your faith community your odds for success are increased.

Courtship is a beautiful system. Everyone is protected and the couple are given a safe environment to dive into romantic love. The pressures of society are not noticed because of the covering of the fathers. Fathers standing guard, chaperoning, and setting the standard. Boys don't feel pressured to "try", and girls are not placed in a position to fend off. Instead anticipation for intimacy in marriage builds during a courtship, therefore making it more special, more Set Apart. 

I would love to see Biblical Courtship become the norm amongst Torah prusant believers in Yahusha. It could be a beautiful thing. 

A work in progress 

Teresa

Bless My Girls

 

Baruch atah Yahuah,  blessed are you Yahuah 

Baruch atah Yahusha,  blessed are you Yahusha 

With a glad heart I thank you.  The girls you've placed in my life are such a blessing.  Abba, keep watch over them.  These girls: my daughters by law, my granddaughters,  my bonus daughter and my bonus granddaughter, plus my "forever family" girls: Candice, Kaylen, Miyah,  Heather, Allison, and Morgan. Abba thank you for them all. 

Guide these beautiful ladies into your loving embrace, that they may know their value and walk with their heads held high, secure in you. Give them hearts that seek you. Give them ears to hear you, give them eyes to see your wonderous works.

Father place people in their lives that will point the way to you, and to encourage them. Give them discernment that they may protect themselves and their children from the deceptions of the enemy. You are so good my El. Let them know the goodness of Yah.  

 Make them faithful and fruitful like Sarah, Rachel, and Rivka. Proverbs 31 women each and every one. May they be a blessing unto you Oh Yah. 

In the mighty name of Yahusha 

Amen

Teresa, a work in progress 

Baruch Atah Yahuah

 

Baruch atah Yahuah,  blessed are you Yahuah

Baruch atah Yahusha,  blessed are you Yahusha

Let me come to you with a heart filled with gratitude.  Let all your blessings flood my mind that I may express Thanksgiving in all I say and do.  Let my fruit be beautiful and delightful in your sight.  Keep me in your embrace that I don't step to the left nor the right.  

Show me your ways and teach me to walk in them. Abba, show me my sins and lead me into repentance.  Let me always be willing to accept correction and to walk upright before you. 

I come before you to ask for my children and grandchildren.  Father draw them to Yahusha that He will bring them to you.  I ask that each and every one of them will find their name written in The Lamb's Book of Life. Not one will be left out. 

This world cries out for you, Oh Yahuah.  I ask you for the leaders, may your will be carried out. Strengthen the righteous leaders to stand strong. Let the leaders lead the people into repentance of sins. Let the corruption be exposed and corrected. Let those responsible turn from harming to helping.  Let the whole world seek your will. Stop the harming of the innocent.  Forgive us Father, we have turned a blind eye to the evils around us.  Open our eyes, let us see, and show us truth. 

Thank you for your mercies. Let me be just as merciful to others. 

In The Mighty Name of Yahusha

Amen

A work in progress 

Teresa 

Testing That Fruit

 

Good grief! You speak on fruit, and the testers come out of the woodwork! Road ragers, keyboard crusaders, pissy family members, disobedient dogs, inconveniences, you name it, the testing ensues. It seems like all your (my)buttons are being pushed at once, from every direction.  

* feet firmly planted in The Word...get some of those step by step instructions found throughout the Word. Have scripture committed to memory, you(I) will recall them as needed ...check

* listen to the guidance of The Holy Spirit... so many times we(I) hear His voice, yet don't heed the warning. Use your(my) memory of scripture to measure what you're(I'm) hearing, if it is sound, compatible with The Word, then shema ...check

* remember who you(I) represent... I have a tetragrammaton in paleo Hebrew sticker in every vehicle's rear window, therefore the way I drive is judged by a certain standard because I display His Name. I try to imagine that this tetragrammaton is tatooed on my forehead,  for the whole world to see. So every word, every deed is a reflection of the one of whom I am an ambassador. As a matter of fact, our words and deeds should be such that there's no question to whom you(I) belong.  Represent well ...check

*never give yourself(myself) permission to get in the mud, tit4tat, retaliation,  sarcasm, and the such. Sometimes the test can blindside you(me) and get you(me) to respond in the flesh. It's a good habit to withhold any and all responses to the count of ten or so. I've never regretted something I didn't say. Weigh and measure your(my) words, no impulsive responses ... check

* the more your(my) thoughts ponder The Word and communicate with Yah thru prayer and worship, the less the tests ruffle your(my) feathers. That's the peace that passes understanding.  Having peace in the midst of circumstances that seem impossible to allow peace. Only abiding in The Spirit can give you true peace like this. Self control will get you(me) so far, but the Ruach(Spirit) takes you(me) all the way. 

Growing up in the church I was often challenged with the question of "would you deny Christ in the face of persecution?" I envisioned standing before a guillotine,  of course I would choose the guillotine, I'd never deny my Savior. But the tests are seldom that obvious or dramatic.  Denying Him can be as simple as choosing the flesh over the Spirit. 

A work in progress 

Teresa