I want to forgive so completely that I forget. I have always heard "forgive and forget" but I kinda figured only Yah could actually do it. Until recently, I would have said exactly that.
I walk myself thru this process of forgiveness, always setting boundaries and keeping an arm's length, if you know what I mean. And, Yes! Boundaries are good when properly applied. No doubt! But setting boundaries for self protection isn't really operating in faith. Boundaries can put a buffer between yourself and the offender's possible future offenses, true. But the boundaries should serve in loving that offender as well. It's not love to allow someone to continue in sinful behavior. Btw, Yah didn't instruct us to protect ourselves from future offences. More on that later.
I have learned I can, and have forgiven to the point that I forgot. I forgot what happened, and I forgot the pain. I usually view myself as one who tends to hold a grudge. I am distrusting of people. Sometimes the boundaries I set look like grudge holding, or self protecting to me and I self evaluate. This issue of forgiving is on the forefront of my mind often. I know I must forgive if I want to be forgiven (Matt 6:14-15, Luke 6:37, Colossians 3:12-13). So....I wanna make sure I'm not missing the mark on this.
A while back I was hurt by someone, and a short time after it happened I remembered a few things that had occurred with that same person years and years(decades) ago. I had forgotten all about it. With the recall I realized this wasn't the first time this type of thing happened with this very same person. I had actually walked away from this person several times in the past. So, it was the same stuff different day. The walking away was me setting up boundaries, which were good. I really needed to separate myself at that time, you know how it goes bad company corrupts good character (1Corinthians 15:33). I couldn't go down that path with them. But did you catch the part where I said I had forgotten. I wasn't keeping a record of wrongs. I had forgiven till I forgot.
What is forgiveness? Think of it like this: when you are hurt in some way by another, this creates a debt. Something was taken from you, that person can't and usually won't even try to make it right, make you whole again. But Yah can, and does. Let Him fill that void. Now, the debt is between Yah and that person. Read that sentence again. You are in a place to no longer require payment from that person. It's forgiven on your end(and paid by Yahusha). To fully understand and receive this covering from Yahusha will take faith and time. Now this is where the boundaries go, and makes a lot of sense for unrepentant offenders. In most situations you can still be in relationship with this person withholding nothing Yah teaches us to do in love and obedience. Other, more severe situations, may require a complete cutting of ties.
Boundaries are not simply self protection. Boundaries should help the forgiven person. Structure. It's not love to allow a person to mistreat you, or continue in sin in any form. Forgiveness is not about facilitating sin, it isn't saying it's ok what they did. ***Abuse is never ok. Get away, big boundaries, seek help that is appropriate for the abuse you are experiencing***.
Yahusha taught to turn the other cheek, and to forgive 70x7 times, if someone takes your coat give to them your cloak as well. (Matt 18:21-22 and 5:39-40) How do those principles apply? Well first off, you only have 2 cheeks, and two items of clothing mentioned here so on face value it seems to say we should feel secure enough to forgive immediately, nothing of earthy value is more important than being obedient in this command for forgiveness. My faith is stronger than this offence. No one should be smacking you around and taking all your stuff, both cheeks and both your outer garments seems plenty: boundaries. But if they do...forgive anyway. Forgive an endless amount of times, just as your Heavenly Father forgives you. (Luke 23:34, Colossians 2:13 and 3:13, Hebrews 8:12, Matthew 6:12, 1 John 1:9) He will make you whole. There is nothing someone can take from you that matters more than walking out this faith.
I want to forgive to the extent that I forget. There's such peace in that.
Charlie Kirk was assassinated today. A bright light for the Kingdom and commonsense values was extinguished. Bless his family Yah.
A work in progress
Teresa
