One Autumn day, many years ago, we were walking together. This had been our custom since I was very young. We would walk, I would talk or sing, He would just listen. I actually cannot remember a time I did not know Him. Well, anyways, we were walking, and I searched for the words to ask Him a question. I had really been less than satisfied with my understanding lately. I was so full of questions, and no one seemed to have any answers. If the answers were in the text, I wasn't seeing it.
Asking Him is no small thing. In my walk with Him I had learned to be careful for what you ask. The answer may not be what you had in mind. It may be something you did not bargain for. It may be "no". Regardless of what the answer is, once you have been given wisdom, knowledge, or insight, you are now responsible for what you do with it. You cannot go back and act like you did before.
I was a youth pastor at the time, at Covenant Fellowship in Cushing. I loved doing that. I loved the kids so much. I loved leading the kids in exploring their relationship with Him. Teens can ask some good questions, there were a few who were really serious about their faith and the scriptures. Each week I was studying the scriptures to answer questions for the youth group and to prepare a lesson. In the process of this weekly, I too had new questions.
As I read my Bible I believed it, so I wanted to live in His blessings and presence, but I also saw the reality of the "good Christian" people around me not living in blessings or victory. One of the classes I had taken was called Victorious Christian Living. It had really great instruction that I still use today, but still not what I meant. Each holiday I hoped for some sort of special something, like a real connection, but He was not really there. Disappointment each time. I wanted to pull back the veil and really see Him. I know there is more! I feel hungry for something I cannot put my finger on. My heart aches to really know you. I know there is more! Moses had it! Others knew you in a deeper way, the early church knew you in a very different way than it does today. I want more. Show me your ways and teach me to walk in them. Little did I know that would start me on a journey in my walk with Him that was beyond my imagination up to that point. Like I said before, once you are given wisdom, knowledge or insight, you are then responsible to apply it. No more pleading ignorance and going against His will, no riding the fence, no getting around it. Obedience or disobedience, blessings or cursing, choose.
Funny how you can get complacent in a relationship, even a relationship you truly cherish. But I think in a way I had become complacent in our relationship, I was content for a few too many years in the things I thought I knew. I know it was the leading of the Holy Spirit thru the youth group that brought those desires to my heart. The very next time I went to research a lesson for the youth, I came across an article by Mark Ensign. This article intrigued me so much I contacted the author. He began emailing me weekly Bible lessons. I also searched for more information, I was very discerning. Everything had to be weighed against what I already knew, agree with the Holy Written Scriptures, and be confirmed by two or three scriptures. I was learning so much. It's like when a puzzle comes together, everything fits, and you see something you didn't see before. http://www.seekingthetruth.com/articles/torahnotlaw.pdf
His ways, my ways
As my studies progressed, I was confronted many times with a crossroads. His ways are not our ways. Surprise! He has given the people who love Him specific days and methods of worship. Surprise again, they are not the same days and methods I had been using. I learned that many of the ways and practices I had been taught to use in worship are contrary to His word. I had my moments of defending my ways, But Lord you know my heart, I am worshiping you and giving you honor with my traditions. Unfortunately my child, your heart is in rebellion. I put before you blessings or cursing, choose the blessings. But Lord I will be alone. How about I do both? I will keep your ways and the traditions I grew up with. Oh my child, you will not be alone, you will be set apart. Doing both is mixing my Holy things with the ways of the world. This is unacceptable. Choose the blessings. Sometimes I explain it like this to people. I am simply following the instruction guide. Say a man invents a lawn mower. He made it so he knows the best way to take care of it and to get the best performance from the equipment. So as the owner of the lawn mower I will read the manual and learn how to take care of the mower. If I give it the wrong fuel, it won't run right. If I don't do regular maintenance it won't preform for me very well nor for very long. YHVH, the creator of all things, has given us a manual, instruction guide, doctrine. I'm just trying to follow the instructions. This will result in life abundantly, and blessings chasing me down and taking me over. Everything else He said is true why wouldn't that be as well?
My response to salvation
Legalism is a word that gets thrown around when a person strays from the recognized church traditions and into the Old Testament ways of faith. I've been told that these are Jewish things, and I understand that, the Jews are the ones we connect with Saturday Sabbath, eating Kosher and keeping of the High Holy Days. They have been blessed to be protectors of the Torah. I have been told these are OLD testament things, we have the NEW testament, I guess like throw the old away. Yet I have come to understand that keeping His instructions are easy. In the renewed covenant He promises to write His word on the hearts of those who love Him. Now hearing and doing His instructions are my natural response to being saved. I desire to do His will as I come to know it because He saved me. I do love the Torah because it is concrete. Seems that people float around in unhappy Christianity many times because the thinking is so abstract they cannot figure out how to apply it to their lives to have peace.
Another Hanukkah
I began this blog as an exercise in "Tending the Temple" as Hanukkah is a celebration remembering a time when the Holy Temple of YHVH was restored and a miracle occurred in that restoration. My body is the temple in this Renewed Covenant of which I am part. He resides within me. I must be diligent in keeping the temple a place for the Holy One.
Blessed be YHVH, King of the Universe
Blessed be Yahusha, Messiah
Amen
